Gregory Burnham.
SUBTOTALS
Number of refrigerators I’ve lived with: 18. Number of
rotten eggs I’ve thrown: 1. Number of finger rings I’ve owned: 3. Number of
broken bones: 0. Number of Purple Hearts: 0. Number of holes in one, big golf:
0; miniature golf:3. Number of consecutive push-ups, maximum: 25. Number of
waist size: 32. Number of gray hairs: 4. Number of children: 4. Number of
suits, business: 2; swimming: 22. Number of cigarettes smoked: 83. Number of
times I’ve kicked the dog: 6. Number of postcards sent: 831; received: 416.
Number of spider plants that died while under my care: 34.
Number of blind dates: 2. Number of jumping jacks: 982,316. Number of
headaches: 184. Number of kisses, given: 21,602, received: 20,041. Number of
belts: 21. Number of mess ups, bad: 6; not so bad: 1,500. Number of weeks at
church camp: 1. Number of houses owned: 0. Number of houses rented: 12. Number
of compliments, given: 4,051; accepted: 2,249. Number of embarrassing moments:
2,258. Number of states visited: 38. Number of traffic tickets: 3. Number of
girlfriends: 4. Number of times fallen off playground equipment, swings: 3;
monkey bars: 2; teeter-totter: 1. Number of times flown in dreams: 28. Number
of times fallen down stairs: 9.
Number of dogs: 1. Number of cats: 7. Number of miracles
witnessed: 1. Number of insults, given: 10,038; received: 8,963. Number of
wrong telephone numbers dialed: 73. Number of times speechless: 33. Number of
times stuck key into electrical socket: 1. Number of birds killed with rocks: 1.
Number of times had the wind knocked out of me: 12. Number of times patted on
the back: 181. Number of times unsure of footing: 458. Number of times fallen
asleep reading a book: 513. Number of deja vu experiences: 43. Number of
emotional breakdowns: 1; Number of times choked on bones, chicken: 4; fish: 6;
other: 3. Number of times I didn’t believe parents: 23,978. Number of
lawn-mowing miles: 3,575. Number of light bulbs changed: 273. Number of
childhood home telephone: 384-621-5844. Number of brothers: 3 2. Number of
times I’ve tried to pick up a girl: 5. Number of time I’ve been shotdown: 5.
Number of stairs walked, up: 745,821; down: 743,609. Number
of hats lost: 9. Number of magazine subscriptions: 41. Number of times seasick:
1. Number of bloody noses: 16. Number of fish caught: 1. Number of time heard
“The Star Spangled Banner”: 2,410. Number of babies held in arms: 9. Number of
times I forgot what I was going say: 631.
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